Relocution

Translating information images ideas

July 31st, 2003

The Madness of George Dubya

Enjoyed The Madness of George Dubya at the Arts Theatre tonight. Basically a stage version of Dr Strangelove, with some topical enhancements. The frame is, as the title suggests, a reference to The Madness of George III, and cabaret is included in the form of some songs by Tom Lehrer. It’s no surprise then, to find that in many ways it’s an old-fashioned production, a satirical revue of Sixties vintage. Yet it feels a lot more dangerous, more genuinely satirical than the institutionalised cynicism and cliched carping that passes for satire lately.

It’s apposite, of-the-moment, which is rare in a West End production of this scale. And it’s turned out to be a good business proposition, attracting enough American visitors over the summer to keep it running. It might even be in danger of becoming the next Reduced Shakespeare. Justin told me that the script gets frequent updates too, keeping it sharp and topical. In fact it’s a great opportunity to crystallise and preserve some of the best jokes about the whole Nine-Eleven, WMD, Afghan, Saddam situation, such as George Bush’s inability to say “terrorists” without it sounding like “tourists” or the unfortunate acronym of The War Against Terror. In this sense it’s a far more worthy vehicle than streams of instantly forgettable pub banter on The News Quiz, u.s.w.

It’s interesting to consider that Dubya’s run ovrelapped for a while with the Donmar’s piss-poor production of Fo’s Accidental Death of an Anarchist. A true translation of Anarchist requires a lot more than an Italian-English dictionary — a whole movement and environment needs translating into a culture that can scarcely understand it. It needs to do as much as, probably more than Justin Butcher has done with the Stangelove material in Dubya. But this production of Anarchist ignored all that: it should have been like Lenin meets Orton, instead it was little better than The Thin Blue Line and other dull Police sitcoms. I don’t know what Simon Nye thinks he translated, but it wasn’t Fo. Dubya cannot hold a candle to the razor-sharp, political, satirical force that Anarchist must have had on its first run, in the polarised, expolosive political atmosphere of 1970s Italy - but it’s a lot closer to the dangerous, live, political theatre of Fo than the Donmar managed.

The opening announcement , in Dubya, is a good example: members of the audience with mobile phones are advised to keep them switched on, in case the theatre is hijacked by suicide bombers, necessitating tearful final phone calls to loved ones. Funny, and thoroughly chilling, as one sits in the stalls and looks sheepishly around: is that guy on the balcony a terrorist?I wonder how it would play in Moscow?

Pic of Yasmina the Cleaner I was particularly impressed with Yasmina the cleaner and Al Qaeda mole - probably the most memorable creation, and the explosive climax she provides is most surely a nod to Dario Fo. Her background story is a sharply-observed satire on privatisation, particularly the gaping flaws that open up in security when government departments start outsourcing mundane jobs. Private companies that win the contracts tend to show even less interest in following security clearance procedures than in paying their staff a decent wage; and since the workers are mostly work-desperate immigrants, students and refugees, they’re not best placed to argue. I’ve seen enough of the results myself: bags of white powder go missing from the Police lab within weeks of privatisation; unscreened sub-contractors (myself included) prancing around MoD buildings; rubbish bags that won’t be collected unless you write “Rubbish” in Portuguese.

Only the last speeches, of the Arab ambassador and Yasmina, seemed jarring and out of place. These bore no obvious trace of Kubrick, Tarantino or Lehrer, so I imagine they are mostly completely Justin Butcher’s work. One gave us a lengthy potted history of Western relations with Iraq through the 20th Century, the other was a catalogue of all the ills of globalisation and US imperialism. I’m afraid this was probably hearfelt rather than satirical - the bitter pill that the humour helps us swallow. This is a shame, as these views - the noxious raking over of historical grudges as justification for atrocities and bad behaviour, and the almost comically optimistic demands made by hijackers and kidnappers - are no less risible than the nonsense of Bush and Blair. The ambassador’s delivered his long speech with power and passion, but it still sounded uncomfortably too much like being in church - but since that’s where I first met Justin maybe that shouldn’t be surprising.

I think Dubya’s worth seeing, for all the reasons I’ve elaborated, and more. It’s encouraging to see that theatrical satire is still viable in today’s multichannel cyber-culture. It’s definitely worth being reminded that the military and political obsessions with Communists and atom bombs in the 1960s and 1970s, are scarcely different from today’s rhetoric about rogue states and weapons of mass destruction. Plus ca change, indeed.

July 30th, 2003

Splinter of the Mind’s Foot

According to The Times today, “HOSPITAL dramas such as Casualty and ER have produced a new brand of quack medical experts ready to pounce at the first sign of an emergency”.

Well, thank God for Casualty, then, because some of the real medical professionals are a waste of space.

On Monday afternoon, Olya managed to get a splinter of glass in her foot. She went to the GP near
our home, but he wouldn’t touch it. He said he didn’t have any sterile equipment, and told her
to go to A&E!

At A&E, the triage nurse said he could try to remove the splinter, but he wasn’t really
supposed to and it might be better to wait for a doctor. Olya took the hint and waited, only realising what a bad decision this was when, two hours later, they announced that the waiting time for a doctor was now four hours, and likely to increase
with every new trauma patient who was admitted.

Wisely she decided to come home and try again the next morning, when an EPN was available: the splinter (extremely well embedded after all the to-ing and fro-ing) was eventually found and extracted, and obligatory tetanus shot given.

All that pallaver because a so-called Doctor wouldn’t even attempt to remove a splinter - something thousands of parents and grandparents do for their kids every day. It’s even in the First Aid Manual, along with a procedure to sterilise tweezers with… a match; something that’s considered simple enough for First Aiders to do, is, apparently, too tricky for a doctor to attempt. Olya would no doubt have extracted it herself if it wasn’t in such a hard-to-reach place.

Over the years I’ve come to expect precious little from the Fairweather House surgery, but this really takes the cake. My advice to any patients of Doctor Rosenthal and her hopeless team is: don’t get ill.

Try also to avoid walking on broken glass in your flip-flops…

July 30th, 2003

Band names

I always thought (and seem to be alone in thinking) that The Vexatious Litigants would be a great name for a punk rock group made up of off-duty solicitors.

Undaunted by the frosty reception that suggestion always receives, here’s another: what would you call a psychedelic rock band of off-duty archivists?

The Dates of Creation

[Image, courtesy of Rude food]

July 25th, 2003

Tequila tasting notes

Gareth and I had a rare chance to taste three premium tequilas side-by-side at home last week: Tequila Revolucion Reposado (discounted at the Army and Navy off-licence), Sauza Tres Generaciones Anejo (bought in Russia!), and the less-rare Sauza Hornitos Reposado. The Anejo takes the laurels of course; more interesting was seeing how weedy the Hornitos seemed, though I’m quite partial to it normally. The Revolucion tequila was all the things you expect - peppery and full of body and character; the Hornitos really suffered by comparison, seeming weak and watery, more perfume than flavour.

Meanwhile, I’m saddened to report that Herradura have downgraded their Jimador Silver (blue label) tequila: the badge that used to say “100% de agave” now says “Doble destilacion”, which is totally superfluous since, as I understand, all spirits are double-distilled. I would have thought only triple-distillation, as with Porfidio silver, or Irish whiskies like Bushmills, really merits special mention. So it looks like they’ve decided to make Jimador a mixed rather than a pure tequila. A shame, because it was the best value 100% silver tequila I’ve found in London - perfect for margaritas, yet barely a couple of quid more than the ubiquitous Cuervo. I suppose it’s just another of life’s little disappointments - like when Waitrose stopped stocking Jardine’s Peach Salsa.

Stranger still, when I met Julio from Tommys Tequila in Cafe Pacifico, he told me that the agave crisis is pretty much over, and that there may even be an agave glut coming. Julio is a Mexican/American who runs tequila bars in California, so I expect he knows what he’s talking about! He even suggested that agave pulp is now cheaper than the equivalent cane needed to make a mixed tequila - so what are Herradura up to with Jimador?

July 24th, 2003

Who is Bezbozhnik?

In 1991, I was given a print of a superb old David Low cartoon, “Ya Bezbozhnik” (“I am an atheist”). I don’t think I’m an atheist (so I suppose must, therefore, be an agnostic), but it’s a great picture. I haven’t seen it anywhere else, and need to make a new scan to add to these pages. Meanwhile here are some bookmarks for interesting Russian/Soviet related web sites (all links working as of today):