Meetings are toxic
Douglas Coupland’s JPod has some extremely witty - maybe just a tad cynical - observations about work-place culture. His thoughts on meetings are particularly entertaining:
Here’s my theory about meetings and life; the three things you can’t fake are erections, competence and creativity. That’s why meetings become toxic - they put uncreative people in a situation in which they have to be something they can never be. And the more effort they put into concealing their inabilities, the more toxic the meeting becomes. One of the most common creativity-faking tactics is when someone puts their hands in prayer position and conceals their mouth while they nod at you and say, “Mmmmmm. Interesting.” If pressed, they’ll add, “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” Then they don’t say anything else.
The uncreative people who run a meeting say such things as Does anybody here have something to say about Ehtan’s idea? The ensuing silence makes even a good idea look stupid.
Or they’ll say, That’s an interesting idea, but let’s focus on matters at hand.
Many people think that the best way to make meetings tolerable is to walk into the room and fire away with lots of ideas to get juices flowing. Such ideas goad uncreative colleagues into building more elaborate strategies to conceal their lack of creativity. You think you’re giving away all this great material, but all you’re really doing is generating fear and envy.
In a way, the best meetings are the ones where nobody is creative and nobody has any ideas about anything. People sit around, stare at their notepads, and then, after a plausible amount of time has passed, everyone leaves. Everybody’s happy because nothing was demanded of them, and nobody was made to look bad in front of the others.
Knowing all of this doesn’t make meetings any less numbing, but at least now you know why they’re numbing.
In general, if you have been stupid enough to venture a new and possibly good idea during a meeting, you may as well kiss it goodbye.